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Go ahead and ask. You want to know what happened to my eye, right? It was a stormy evening, chilly, a lot like tonight. I went down to my basement to get a side of venison out of my meat freezer when I noticed that one of my basement windows was cracked. There it was, on the shelf above the croquet set, glowing pearly white. I had to go to it, to take it in my hand, to measure stuff with it. It had a hold on me. I lifted it — so light, almost like it Point And Measure Digital Tape W5746 Manual Edition climbed into my hand on its own.

I felt like we floated together over to the broken window, and it seemed to unfurl like a flag in the breeze. I know how this sounds. But it lunged. The tape lunged at my eye, and cut the eyeball with the sharp tape edge.

I think I mighta caught that little metal tab on the end, too. Of course, I screamed in pain and grabbed my eye. I heard the tape measure clatter to the floor. I blacked out. After I got back home, I crawled around the basement for two days. I looked in every corner, under every piece of furniture, behind every box. I never found that lovely, mysterious, deadly tape measure.

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