We tell him and his eyebrows go up and he leads us to something that looks like a moving box. Theodore Alexander. What if she says no? Walker Edison. Available in singles, half dozen, or full dozen.

Both drawers on this nightstand operate with self-closing glides for superior strength and durability. Beautifully white-washed, this nightstand features a pullout service tray for your bedtime tea mug. Cord access holes within the top drawer make it easy to recharge your gadgets overnight. Sleek and slender bedside storage. Austin 2 drawer nightstand keeps bedside necessities at bay. Helping to orchestrate a clutter free room, this nightstand takes up minimal space and meshes with a variety of decor styles.

Streamlined metal hardware and round feet give the Austin line its simple chic feel. Standing strong with metal drawer liners and an easy to clean Foil surface the Austin dresser will be a productive and durable piece in your Collection. Contemporary style Suitable for small rooms Metal handles Drawers with metal runners Made from engineered wood Made in Denmark Includes assembly manual and all necessary hardware and fasteners. Components are pre-drilled and pre-cut ready for easy assembly!

This antique-style wooden nightstand in an elegant design will add a sophisticated touch to your bedroom. The bedside cabinet is made of solid reclaimed wood, which has the characteristics of different woods like mahogany, teak, mango wood, acacia, etc. You may find cavities left by nails, screws, or bolts, along with other imperfections, underlying the authenticity of the material.

These imperfections disclose a rich history and are never intentionally made. The wood originates from naturally fallen trees, wooden boats, wooden houses, etc. Every piece of furniture is unique, and slightly different from the next.

Signs of wear and the craftsmanship of this fully-handmade nightstand give each piece a unique look and add to its spectacular vintage style. This side cabinet has 3 drawers with ample space for storing various items. Important note: The color may vary from piece to piece, making each of our bedside cabinets unique; the delivery is random. Attach the Legs and its Ready to Enjoy! The Laverne nightstand is an essential piece of furniture that is both charming and simple.

The modern and contemporary-inspired design is exemplified in the rectangular, geometric silhouette. The Laverne is finished in a natural oak brown to give you a hint of rustic and natural vibes. The nightstand features a convenient top drawer, which rolls out smoothly on slides. The Laverne also features two open shelves beneath the top drawer. The minimalist nightstand with its neutral coloring, will be easy to coordinate with the decor in your bedroom or guest room.

The Laverne can even serve as additional storage in your entryway, living room, or closet. Made in Malaysia, the nightstand requires assembly. The Carine nightstand has a classic, modern look that looks right at home in your bedroom. The modern and contemporary-inspired design is simple and sophisticated. The Carine is finished in a wenge brown and has modern square knobs in a silver finish. The nightstand features two convenient pull out drawers with a framed horizontal slatted design on their fronts for just a hint of detail.

The minimalistic yet warm look of the Carine makes this an ideal addition to your bedside, or to provide additional storage in your guest room. Made in Malaysia, the Carine requires assembly.

Corner Blocks are utilized to Support Drawer Bottoms. Choose from a Variety of Colors. Mid Century -Nightstand 2.

Liberty Mid-Century - Modern Nightstand 2. Cool metal handles protect a pair of drawers durable enough to carry 22 lbs. As an end table or as a nightstand, the piece serves dual purposes and blends well in any space. Modern Nightstand for Bedroom or Living Room use. Upon Assembly, Measures: Length, Height, Perfect for Storage or Display items. Each Drawer can hold 22 Lbs. Includes 2 Drawers. Modern Metal Drawer Handles. Home Assembly Required.

All Hardware Included. Add cool, quirky style to your bedroom with the Leah nightstand. The Leah features a tray-style top, ideal for keeping phones and other items secure. One drawer, fitted with a round knob, provides space to store bedside essentials. Functional and stylish, the Leah showcases a sleek neutral finish that is complimentary to a wide range of color palettes.

The Leah nightstand is made in China and requires assembly. With its simple lines, aged oak finish and antique hardware, the Nightstand supplies your bedroom with classic craftsman appeal. Two drawers open to reveal plenty of space to cache electronics, books and other small belongings in handsome fashion, while a smooth surface offers a spot to display lighting, frames and decorative accents.

The pairs well with your traditional or rustic design. A simple yet stylish silhouette will perfectly match with every style theme in any room. The rectangular top surface is perfect to display a beautiful floral arrangement, lamp, or family photos, while the roomy gliding drawer with round pull is good for stashing and organizing books, remotes, and other living essentials safely out of sight.

Boasting the X base in a gold finish, it infuses an exquisite accent and creates a modern, stylish look to your home. With its versatile design, this elegant piece is ideal as an end table in your living room or a nightstand in your bedroom. Complement your home with a clever balance of tones and storage with this contemporary nightstand.

Catalina Black One Drawer Nightstand with Gold LegsCool gold finish metal framing and hardware lends a rich, luxurious touch to this one-drawer nightstand. Delivering a mid-century-inspired vibe to the bedside, the nightstand is offered with a choice of black or white finish wood veneer on its one drawer.

A two-tone look is sure to bring dynamic style to a master or guest suite. Includes nightstand with one drawer Light, open design with a compact profile Steel legs feature a warm gold finish One drawer for easy bedside storage Wood veneer is easy to clean Mid-century modern style adds character to any bedroom Features metal and wood veneer construction for a lovely, lasting look Product Dimensions L x W x H The nightstand with 3 drawers is created to address a trending style in today's market while adding some transitional feel by bowing the inset drawers.

The nightstand is complemented by nickel metal leg and its solid construction can allow you to use for years. All these features make it a perfect choice for your room decoration. A good nightstand will definitely bring great convenience to your room. So just bring it home to start an easier lifestyle. Find open and closed storage all in one sophisticated unit with this solid wood nightstand. This bedside table includes a lower cubby and a top drawer with wood on wood runners, a finished interior, and a pull-out metal handle that lays flat when not in use.

Reminiscent of a mid-century filing cabinet this updated end table provides a retro chic flair, making it a fabulous addition to any room whether the decor is Parisian, eclectic, or modern. Matching Beds are also Available Read More. The home living set comes in multiple color options , espresso, dark brown wood grain and steam beech. These models are designed to fit in your space, style and fit on your budget.

The main material, medium density composite wood, is made from recycled materials of rubber trees. All the materials are manufactured in Malaysia and comply with the green rules of production. There is no foul smell, durable and the material is the most stable amongst the Simple stylish design comes in multiple color options functional and suitable for any room.

Fits in your space, fits on your budget. Sturdy on flat surface. Some assembly required. Please see instruction. Product Dimension: The home living set comes in two color options - espresso and steam beech.

There is no foul smell, durable and the material is the most stable amongst the medium density composite woods. A simple attitude towards lifestyle is reflected directly on the design of Furinno Furniture, creating a trend of simply nature. Care instructions: wipe clean with clean damped cloth. Avoid using harsh chemicals. Pictures are for illustration purpose. All decor items are not included in this offer. Keep your bedroom organized while conveying a casual farmhouse style with the kathy ireland Home by Bush Furniture River Brook Nightstand.

This small bedside table features one box drawer and two shelves to ensure that the personal items, reading materials and supplies you need are never out of reach. The bottom shelf is fixed for stability, and the upper shelf can be raised or lowered to accommodate books and decorations of various sizes. The 21W x 16D x 25H accent table's surface easily supports a reading lamp, alarm clock and other essentials.

Add a second Nightstand for a symmetrical look and check out the full River Brook Collection to create a bedroom set with rustic, traditional or modern farmhouse style.

This Nightstand with Storage meets Bush Furniture's standards for quality, safety and durability and is backed by a 3 Year Warranty. The Vale nightstand is craftsman built using sustainable bamboo, and beautifully hand-finished with a rich Havana stain to enhance the natural grain in the surface of the bamboo. Each drawer in the Vale collection features a subtle recessed drawer pull and is crafted using engineered plywood with a drawer face of solid bamboo.

Solid, strong and crafted for a lifetime of use, the contemporary Vale nightstand is shipped professionally assembled. With transitional styling that is at home in a number of decorative environments, the Fondren Collection will be a versatile addition to your bedroom.

The three available finishes — white, gray or cherry- over birch veneer, dramatically enhance the wood grain and is perfectly accented by the nickel hardware that punctuates each drawer front.

Depending on your finish choice the headboard will feature either a white, gray or black bi-cast vinyl insert with x-stitching and button-tufting. Made of Birch veneer and wood Gray finish 3 ball bearing drawers with dovetail construction Satin nickel knob hardware No assembly required Additional dimension Drawer interior: Simplistic and symmetric design of this loveseat will give your living area a fresh and clean look without interfering in your home decor.

Thanks to dark grey color, this lovely loveseat will look elegant and tidy in any living area, making it brighter and cozier. Ever feel like taking a quick nap before work! Modern Divani Casa Corina has a solution for that matter, since it includes a right facing chaise, it will be a perfectly comfortable place to take a power nap. A built in USB port is perfectly placed so you can enjoy those extra 10 minutes in bed and don't have to worry about the look of loose electrical cords.

Scaled to create a stately presence in the master bedroom, each piece is crafted of a solid wood and a lightweight frame allowing it to fit almost anywhere. The Stony Edge Accent Table With USB Port merges fashion and function to bring double the benefit of abundant storage space as well as keeping your bedroom's essentials close at hand. From top to bottom this nightstand is brimming with character and detail. We personally love the hand carved detail on the legs and the writing drawer that is tucked away above the main drawer.

Made in Indonesia using veneer oak, this nightstand has a weathered oak finish that has a soft, light tone. Featuring two-tone finishing in walnut and white, the Hildon is a mid-century modern collection that will attract all of the attentions. The slanted design of the drawers gives it extra character and individual style while the splayed legs showcasing the retro modern look of the collection.

Constructed of engineered wood, the Hildon 2-drawer storage nightstand provides you with extra storage space for your bed side essentials. Set on four walnut finished legs which elevate the drawers from the floor, this storage nightstand of slanted drawers are a great addition to any bedroom. The Hildon sets a tone for any room which is what mid century style is all about. Made in Malaysia, the Hildon 2-drawer storage nightstand requires assembly.

Channeling the heart of Americana style, Michael Amini and Kathy Ireland create luxury home furnishings inspired by casual, relaxed looks. The wooden bedside table will make a timeless addition to your bedroom or living room decor. Constructed from solid mango wood and sturdy steel frames, the nightstand is highly stable and durable. The tabletop and the shelf provide storage space for keeping all kinds of small items neatly organized.

The steel frames add to the table?? Every step of the construction process is carried out with the greatest care, be it polishing and lacquering.

This product is easy to assemble. Important note: The colors and grains of the wood may vary from piece to piece, making each piece unique and slightly different from the next; the delivery is random. The simple but practical end table features a drawer and spacious tabletop making it convenient to display and store your things.

On the top, you can place your table lamp to read or your photo frames to decorate; on the drawer you can storage books, magazines, etc. It saves space and helps keep your room neat. Made of MDF, the entire structure remains very solid and durable.

And even more, it has 4 durable x-shape feet. This side table is made of high quality MDF which combine of clean lines design and classic white finish, adds an air of elegance. Blend with classic and contemporary style, this side table not only conformity with your room style, but decor your room.

It is ideal choice for your room. Don't hesitant to buy it Feature Unique X-shape legs Simple design for modern room Durable and sturdy provide long-time service for you Versatile Functional satisfy different needs. Constructed from light brown-finished MDF wood and distressed metal for an aged look, this industrial-inspired piece features cool rivet detailing along its metal edges. Two spacious drawers provide room to keep items organized and out of sight.

Each drawer is embellished with a black number, adding to its industrial charm. The Avere is fitted with four wheel casters for smooth mobility so you can easily move this piece around as you reconfigure your space. The Avere nightstand is made in China and will arrive fully assembled. French Industrial Style nightstand Constructed from light brown-finished engineered wood and distressed silver-finished aluminum metal Two 2 drawers Four 4 caster wheels Rivet detailing Fully assembled Made in China Care instruction: Wipe Clean Dimensions: Elegant and eye-catching, the stunning Silver Bali Night Stand from Meridian Furniture is the perfect addition to any space.

He doesn't get a call all shift and waits zero tables and winds up sitting on the P wing, playing solitaire in a hunched-over position that gives him big gut rolls. I Pilot six tables and make forty dollars in tips plus five an hour in salary. After closing we sit on the floor for Debriefing. Frendt says, "when one must move gracefully to the next station in life, like for example certain women in Africa or Brazil, I forget which, who either color their faces or don some kind of distinctive headdress upon achieving menopause.

Are you with me? One of our ranks must now leave us. No one is an island in terms of being thought cute forever, and so today we must say good-bye to our friend Lloyd.

Lloyd, stand up so we can say good-bye to you. I'm sorry We are all so very sorry" "Oh God," says Lloyd. Lloyd's finished.

We give him a round of applause, and Frendt gives him a Farewell Pen and the contents of his locker in a trash bag and out he goes. Poor Lloyd. He's got a wife and two kids and a sad little duplex on Self-Storage Parkway "It's been a pleasure! What a stressful workplace. The minute your Cute Rating drops you're a goner.

Guests rank us as Knockout, Honeypie, Adequate, or Stinker. Not that I'm complaining. At least I'm working. At least I'm not a Stinker like Lloyd. Min's my sister. Jade's our cousin. How My Child Died Violently is hosted by Matt Merton, a six-foot-five blond who's always giving the parents shoulder rubs and telling them they've been sainted by pain.

Today's show features a ten-year-old who killed a five-year-old for refusing to join his gang. The ten-year-old strangled the five-year-old with a jump rope, filled his mouth with baseball cards, then locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out until his parents agreed to take him to FunTimeZone, where he confessed, then dove screaming into a mesh cage full of plastic balls. The audience is shrieking threats at the parents of the killer while the parents of the victim urge restraint and forgiveness to such an extent that finally the audience starts shrieking threats at them too.

Then it's a commercial. Min and Jade put down the babies and light cigarettes and pace the room while studying aloud for their GEDs. It doesn't look good. Jade says "regicide" is a virus. Min locates Biafra one planet from Saturn. I offer to help and they start yelling at me for condescending. You got your frigging diploma. We don't. That's why we have to do this GED shit. If we had our diplomas we could just watch TV and not be all distracted. We got to study.

Show's almost on. They agree that Churchill was in opera. Matt Merton comes back and explains that last week's show on suicide, in which the parents watched a reenactment of their son's suicide, was a healing process for the parents, then shows a video of the parents admitting it was a healing process.

My sister's baby is Troy. Jade's baby is Mac. They crawl off into the kitchen and Troy gets his finger caught in the heat vent. Min rushes over and starts pulling. Stop yanking on him and get the freaking Vaseline.

You're going to give him a really long arm, man! Mac starts crying. I go over and free Troy no problem. And then you knock over the freaking TV? Don't you care? Everything's just hunky-dory. Aunt Bernie's a peacemaker. She doesn't like trouble.

Once this guy backed over her foot at FoodKing and she walked home with ten broken bones. She never got married, because Grandpa needed her to keep house after Grandma died. Then he died and left all his money to a woman none of us had ever heard of, and Aunt Bernie started in at DrugTown.

But she's not bitter. Sometimes she's so nonbitter it gets on my nerves. When I say Sea Oak's a pit she says she's just glad to have a roof over her head. When I say I'm tired of being broke she says Grandpa once gave her pencils for Christmas and she was so thrilled she sat around sketching horses all day on the backs of used envelopes.

Once I asked was she sorry she never had kids and she said no, not at all, and besides, weren't we were her kids? And I said yes we were. But of course we're not. For dinner it's beanie-wienies. For dessert it's ice cream with freezer burn. He's in charge of ensuring that our penises never show Also that we don't kiss anyone.

None of us ever kisses anyone or shows his penis except Sonny Vance, who does both, because he's saving up to buy a FaxIt franchise. As for our Penile Simulators, yes, we can show them, we can let them stick out the top of our pants, we can even periodically dampen our tight pants with spray bottles so our Simulators really contour, but our real penises, no, those have to stay inside our hot uncomfortable oversized Simulators.

I went to school to learn how to inspect meat, but this certainly wasn't what I had in mind. Ha ha! Sonny Vance is serving soup to a table of hairstylists on a bender and for a twenty shoots them a quick look at his unit. Just then Anders glances up from his Lindbergh. Which is bad. Every dollar counts.

Lately I've been sneaking toilet paper home in my briefcase. I can fit three rolls in. By the time I get home they're usually flat and don't work so great on the roller but still it saves a few bucks. I clock out and cut through the strip of forest behind FedEx. Very pretty. A raccoon scurries over a fallen oak and starts nibbling at a rusty bike. As I come out of the woods I hear a shot. At least I think it's a shot. It could be a backfire.

But no, it's a shot, because then there's another one, and some kids sprint across the courtyard yelling that Big Scary Dawgz rule. I run home. Min and Jade and Aunt Bernie and the babies are huddled behind the couch.

Apparently they had the babies outside when the shooting started. Troy's walker got hit. Luckily he wasn't in it. It's supposed to look like a duck but now the beak's missing. Crap-mouths I mean? At least we got a home.

And at least none of them bullets actually hit nobody. There's an ad hoc crackhouse in the laundry room and last week Min found some brass knuckles in the kiddie pool. If I had my way I'd move everybody up to Canada. It's nice there. Very polite. We went for a weekend last fall and got a flat tire and these two farmers with bright-red faces insisted on fixing it, then springing for dinner, then starting a college fund for the babies. They sent us the stock certificates a week later, along with a photo of all of us eating cobbler at a diner.

But moving to Canada takes bucks. Dad's dead and left us nada and Ma now lives with Freddie, who doesn't like us, plus he's not exactly rich himself. He does phone polls. This month he's asking divorced women how often they backslide and sleep with their exes. He gets ten bucks for every completed poll. So not lucrative, and Canada's a moot point. I go out and find the beak of Troy's duck and fix it with Elmer's.

I seen one like that down-town. Don't take it so serious. It ain't the end of the world. That's what I do. That's what I always done. That's how I got where I am. You work at DrugTown for minimum.

You're sixty and own nothing. You were basically a slave to your father and never had a date in your life. It's a madhouse. They've got the fog on. A bridge club offers me fifteen bucks to oil-wrestle Mel Turner. So I oil-wrestle Mel Turner. They offer me twenty bucks to feed them chicken wings from my hand. So I feed them chicken wings from my hand. The afternoon flies by.

Then the evening. At nine the bridge club leaves and I get a sorority. They sing intelligent nasty songs and grope my Simulator and say they'll never be able to look their boyfriends' meager genitalia in the eye again.

Then Mr. Frendt comes over and says phone. It's Min. She sounds crazy. Four times in a row she shrieks get home. When I tell her calm down, she hangs up.

I call back and no one answers. No biggie. Min's prone to panic. Probably one of the babies is puky. Luckily I'm on FlexTime. I jog across the marsh and through FedEx. Up on the hill there's a light from the last remaining farm.

Sometimes we take the boys to the adjacent car wash to look at the cow. Tonight however the cow is elsewhere. At home Min and Jade are hopping up and down in front of Aunt Bernie, who's sitting very very still at one end of the couch. Touch her neck and see if you can feel that beating thing! I call and the paramedics come out and work hard for twenty minutes, then give up and say they're sorry and it looks like she's been dead most of the afternoon.

The apartment's a mess. Her money drawer's empty and her family photos are in the bathtub. I think: I am so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here when it happened and sorry you never had any fun in your life and sorry I wasn't rich enough to move you somewhere safe.

I remember when she was young and wore pink stretch pants and made us paper chains out of DrugTown receipts while singing "Froggie Went A-Courting. She never hurt anybody. And now this. Scared to death in a crappy apartment. Min puts the babies in the kitchen but they keep crawling out. Aunt Bernie's in a shroud on this sort of dolly and on the couch are a bunch of forms to sign. We call Ma and Freddie. We get their machine.

Ma, please freaking pick up! So we leave a message. Maybe too healthy. He's wearing a yellow golf shirt and his biceps keep involuntarily flexing. Every now and then he touches his delts as if to confirm they're still big as softballs.

Not superfancy. We tell him and his eyebrows go up and he leads us to something that looks like a moving box. This is Sierra Sunset. Not exactly cardboard. More of a fiberboard. There are staples where Aunt Bernie's spine would be. I doubt it. We sit at a desk and Lobton does what he calls a Credit Calc. If we pay it out monthly for seven years we can afford the Amber Mist, which includes a double-thick balsa box and two coats of lacquer and a one-hour wake. Leo's, on the hill up near BastCo.

Her part of the graveyard's pretty plain. No angels, no little rock houses, no flowers, just a bunch of flat stones like parking bumpers and here and there a Styrofoam cup.

Father Brian says a prayer and then one of us is supposed to talk. But what's there to say? She never had a life. Never married, no kids, work work work. Did she ever go on a cruise? All her life it was buses. Buses buses buses. Once she went with Ma on a bus to Quigley, Kansas, to gamble and shop at an outlet mall. Someone broke into her room and stole her clothes and took a dump in her suitcase while they were at the Roy Clark show. That was it. That was the extent of her tourism.

After that it was DrugTown, night and day. After fifteen years as Cashier she got demoted to Greeter. People would ask where the cold remedies were and she'd point to some big letters on the wall that said Cold Remedies. Freddie, Ma's boyfriend, steps up and says he didn't know her very long but she was an awful nice lady and left behind a lot of love, etc.

While it's true she didn't do much in her life, still she was very dear to those of us who knew her and never made a stink about anything but was always content with whatever happened to her, etc. Then it's over and we're supposed to go away.

I scrunch my eyes tight and try to picture her happy, laughing, poking me in the ribs. But all I can see is her terrified on the couch.

It's awful. Out there, somewhere, is whoever did it. Someone came in our house, scared her to death, watched her die, went through our stuff, stole her money. Someone who's still living, someone who right now might be having a piece of pie or running an errand or scratching his ass, someone who, if he wanted to, could drive west for three days or whatever and sit in the sun by the ocean.

We stand a few minutes with heads down and hands folded. Last year Trabanti died and three Vietnamese families went in together and bought the place, and it still serves pasta and pizza and the big oil of Trabanti is still on the wall but now from the kitchen comes this very pretty Vietnamese music and the food is somehow better.

Freddie proposes a toast. Min says remember how Bernie always called lunch dinner and dinner supper? Jade says remember how when her jaw clicked she'd say she needed oil? You don't mind if I say pluck? Pluck pluck pluck? The waiter clears his throat. Ma glares at Min. Phone Poll speaks," says Min.

Then one day we picked the babies up at day care and found Troy sitting naked on top of the washer and Mac in the yard being nipped by a Pekingese and the day-care lady sloshed and playing KillerBirds on Nintendo. So that was that.

No more HardwareNiche. Anybody can do anything. But first they gotta try. And you guys ain't. Two don't work and one strips naked? I don't consider that trying.

You kids make squat. And therefore you live in a dangerous craphole. And what happens in a dangerous craphole? Bad tragic shit. It's the freaking American way-you start out in a dangerous craphole and work hard so you can someday move up to a somewhat less dangerous craphole. And finally maybe you get a mansion. But at this rate you ain't even gonna make it to the somewhat less dangerous craphole. The other thing I also do not do is strip naked.

Which is true. I always have on at least a T-back. They're addictive. They put sugar in the sauce and sugar in the meat nuggets. I think also caffeine.

Someone told me the brown streaks in the Flags are caffeine. We have like five bowls each. After dinner the babies get fussy and Min puts a mush of ice cream and Hershey's syrup in their bottles and we watch The Worst That Could Happen, a half-hour of computer simulations of tragedies that have never actually occurred but theoretically could. A kid gets hit by a train and flies into a zoo, where he's eaten by wolves. A man cuts his hand off chopping wood and while wandering around screaming for help is picked up by a tornado and dropped on a preschool during recess and lands on a pregnant teacher.

The babies start howling for more ice cream. It's Father Brian. He sounds weird. He says he's sorry to bother us so late. But something strange has happened. Something bad. Something sort of, you know, unspeakable. Am I sitting? I'm not but I say I am. Apparently someone has defaced Bernie's grave.

My first thought is there's no stone. It's just grass. How do you deface grass? What did they do, pee on the grass on the grave? But Father's nearly in tears. So I call Ma and Freddie and tell them to meet us, and we get the babies up and load them into the K-car. Father Brian meets us at the gate with a flashlight and a golf cart.

Nothing like this has ever happened here. I am so sorry. You seem like nice people. Where the grave used to be is just a hole. Inside the hole is the Amber Mist, with the top missing. Inside the Amber Mist is nothing. No Aunt Bernie. I sat right down on that pile of dirt.

I dropped as if shot. See that mark? That's where I sat. The cops show up and one climbs down in the hole with a tape measure and a camera.

After three or four flashes he climbs out and hands Ma a pair of blue pumps. Once we found the loved one nearby with, you know, a cigarette between its lips, wearing a sombrero? These kids today got a lot more nerve than we ever did. I never would've dreamed of digging up a dead corpse when I was a teen. You might tip over a stone, sure, you might spray-paint something on a crypt, you might, you know, give a wino a hotfoot.

I don't feel like it but we need the money. The grass is wet and it's hard getting across the ravine in my dress shoes. The soles are slick. Plus they're too tight.

Several times I fall forward on my briefcase. Inside the briefcase are my T-backs and a thing of mousse. I take off my shirt and serve their salads. I take off my flight pants and serve their soups. One drops a dollar on the floor and tells me feel free to pick it up.

I pick it up. She looks at me. I thought that was the whole point. I think that's fair. I give back the dollar. I return to the Locker Area and sit awhile. For the first time ever, I'm voted Stinker.

There are thirteen women at the MediBen table and they all vote me Stinker. Do the MediBen women know my situation? Would they vote me Stinker if they did?

But what am I supposed to do, go out and say, Please ladies, my aunt just died, plus her body's missing? Frendt pulls me aside. But I'd like to encourage you not to behave like one of those Comanche ladies who bite off their index fingers when a loved one dies.

Grief is good, grief is fine, but too much grief, as we all know, is excessive. If your aunt's death has filled your mouth with too many bitten-off fingers, for crying out loud, take a week off, only don't take it out on our Guests, they didn't kill your dang aunt.

I can't even afford to take a few days off. Why don't I put an ad in the paper for all sad people who need money? All the town's sad could come here and strip. Come back when you feel halfway normal. Maybe someone's found the body.

I imagine Bernie naked, Bernie chopped in two, Bernie posed on a bus bench. I hope and pray that something only mildly bad's been done to her, something we can live with. At home the door's wide open. Min and Jade are sitting very still on the couch, babies in their laps, staring at the rocking chair, and in the rocking chair is Bernie. Bernie's body. Same perm, same glasses, same blue dress we buried her in. What's it doing here? Who could be so cruel? And what are we supposed to do with it?

Then she turns her head and looks at me. In life she never swore. I sit. Min squeezes and releases my hand, squeezes and releases, squeezes and releases. You'll show it and show it. You go up to a lady, if she wants to see it, if she'll pay to see it, I'll make a thumbprint on the forehead. You see the thumbprint, you ask.

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